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Nothing frustrates a parent more than to tell a child to “go clean your room!” only to return two hours later to see the same mess. But just like I tell schools, I sometimes have to remind parents, “Is this can’t do the skill, or won’t do the skill?” Some kids truly do not have the executive function skills to clean their rooms.

Teaching executive functioning skills is not limited to school or therapy sessions. Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in supporting and reinforcing these skills at home.

A person sits on a bed surrounded by various scattered items, including clothes, makeup, a hairdryer, headphones, and a notebook. The room appears cluttered—a perfect opportunity to teach executive functioning skills at home.
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A person sits on a bed surrounded by various scattered items, including clothes, makeup, a hairdryer, headphones, and a notebook. The room appears cluttered—a perfect opportunity to teach executive functioning skills at home.

For a child to learn executive function skills, it takes live, in the moment, real time feedback and explicit instruction. There is no magic pill or secret sauce to make this happen. It just has to be taught and repeated.

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I’m a busy working mom too, I get it. I don’t always enjoy narrating my entire day as I go along. But, in order for my child to develop language skills, I have to do this. And slowly but surely, you’ll see progress.

How to Teach Executive Functioning at Home

Here are some ways parents and caregivers can get involved. And, as I often do, I will take a moment to remind all the adults around the child to think about “can’t vs. won’t.” We often assume that a child “won’t” do something as directed, but the reality is that they “can’t” do the task.

When it comes to teaching executive function skills at home, parents can play a huge role in reinforcing and building these abilities through direct instruction, modeling, and practice. Here are some strategies for parents to explicitly teach executive functioning skills at home:

1. Time Management

  • Use a Timer for Tasks: Teach children to estimate how long a task will take. Then, use a timer to track the actual time. Afterward, discuss the difference and brainstorm how to plan better next time. This builds the ability to realistically estimate time.
  • Create a Family Schedule: Sit down with your child weekly to create a visual schedule of activities, homework, and other tasks. Teach them to prioritize tasks based on deadlines and importance.

2. Task Initiation and Planning

  • Break Down Tasks: When your child has a project or large chore, work with them to break it down into smaller, manageable steps. Model the process of listing out each step, setting deadlines, and checking off completed tasks.
  • Plan “To-Do” Lists Together: Teach your child to use a checklist for the day or week. Sit with them and plan out what needs to be done, what can be deferred, and how to approach tasks.

3. Goal-Setting and Self-Monitoring

  • Teach SMART Goals: Help your child create Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals. For example, “I will read 3 chapters of my book by 5 PM” instead of “I’ll read today.”
  • Daily Reflection: At the end of the day, sit with your child and reflect on what goals they achieved, what they found challenging, and how they can adjust for tomorrow.

4. Working Memory

  • Teach Chunking: When helping your child study or remember something, break the information into chunks. For example, if they’re learning a spelling list, group the words by similar patterns (like words ending in “-tion”).
  • Memory Games: Incorporate memory games that require recalling sequences, such as card games like Concentration, or using apps that promote working memory through interactive challenges.

5. Self-Regulation and Emotional Control

  • Teach Emotional Awareness: When your child is frustrated, encourage them to identify their emotions by saying, “I can see you’re feeling frustrated. Let’s talk about how to handle it.” Teach them coping strategies like deep breathing or counting to ten.
  • Role-Playing Problem Solving: Help your child practice handling emotionally charged situations (like losing a game) by role-playing different responses. Teach them to “Stop-Think-Act” before reacting.

6. Organization Skills

  • Teach Systems for Organizing Belongings: Work with your child to set up organizational systems at home. For example, label containers for school supplies or create a consistent routine for where homework materials are kept.
  • Daily “Clean Sweep”: Set a routine at the end of each day where your child cleans and organizes their workspace or backpack. Teach them to assess what needs to stay, what can go, and what they need for the next day.

7. Flexible Thinking (Cognitive Shifting)

  • Play Games that Encourage Flexibility: Play strategy games like chess, or other board games where plans need to change based on the opponent’s moves. Discuss how your child changed their strategy and why it worked or didn’t.
  • Encourage Problem-Solving Discussions: If your child encounters a roadblock—whether in homework or a game—pause and ask them to think of three different ways to solve the problem. Discuss which option they think is best and why.

8. Teach Prioritization

  • Use a “Must-Do, Can-Do” System: Help your child categorize tasks into “must-do” and “can-do” categories. Explain how focusing on the most important or time-sensitive tasks first can make everything else easier.
  • Model Prioritization: Talk through your own prioritization process with your child. For example, explain why you’re doing the laundry before making dinner, or how you’re deciding what errands to run.

9. Teach Accountability and Self-Monitoring

  • Use Daily Check-Ins: Have your child reflect on their goals at the end of each day. What did they accomplish? What do they need to carry over to tomorrow? This helps them develop self-awareness and accountability.
  • Progress Tracking: Teach them to track their own progress on long-term projects, marking milestones as they go. You can use charts, graphs, or apps to visualize the steps they’ve completed.

10. Teach Delayed Gratification

  • Use the “If-Then” Technique: When your child wants to play or have screen time before finishing homework, teach them to use “If-Then” language. For example, “If I finish my math homework, then I can play video games for 30 minutes.”
  • Practice with Real-Life Scenarios: Set small goals with rewards, like “Let’s clean the room for 15 minutes, and then we can watch an episode of your favorite show.”

By directly teaching and practicing these skills, parents can help their children develop executive functioning abilities that will support them throughout life. The key is consistency, modeling, and allowing for lots of practice!

Accommodating Executive Functioning Deficits at Home

And just like at school, our kids may need “teach and accommodate.”

  1. Establish Routines: Create consistent daily routines at home that include designated times for homework, chores, and leisure activities. Routines provide structure and help students develop time management and organization skills.
  2. Set Clear Expectations: Clearly communicate expectations regarding responsibilities and tasks at home. Encourage your child to take ownership of their responsibilities, such as keeping their room organized or completing household chores, which fosters independence and accountability.
  3. Create a Dedicated Study Space: Designate a quiet, well-lit area at home specifically for studying and completing homework. Ensure this space is free from distractions and stocked with necessary supplies. Having a designated study space helps students focus and improves productivity.
  4. Teach Planning and Prioritization: Help your child learn how to prioritize tasks and manage their time effectively. Encourage them to use tools like planners or digital calendars to organize assignments, deadlines, and extracurricular activities. Practice breaking larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.
  5. Encourage Self-Advocacy: Teach your child to advocate for themselves by expressing their needs and seeking help when necessary. Encourage them to communicate with teachers about assignments, deadlines, and any challenges they may be facing. Building self-advocacy skills fosters independence and confidence.
  6. Model Executive Functioning Skills: Be a positive role model by demonstrating effective executive functioning skills in your own daily life. Narrate your thought process as you plan, organize, and prioritize tasks. Involve your child in family planning and decision-making processes to demonstrate these skills in action.

Communication and Collaboration

Effective communication and collaboration between parents, caregivers, and educators can lead to better outcomes for children. Parents and caregivers can work with educators to identify specific areas of executive functioning that need improvement and develop strategies to address them.

They can also share information about what works at home and what challenges their child may be facing.

At-Home Strategies for Executive Functioning

There are many strategies that parents and caregivers can use at home to help their child develop executive functioning skills. Here are a few examples:

  • Establish routines: Routines can help children develop a sense of structure and predictability, which can improve their ability to plan and organize.
  • Encourage self-monitoring: Encourage children to reflect on their own behavior and progress towards goals. This can help them develop self-awareness and self-regulation skills.
  • Use visual aids: Visual aids such as calendars, checklists, and timers can help children stay organized and on track.
  • Practice problem-solving: Encourage children to identify problems and brainstorm solutions. This can help them develop critical thinking and decision-making skills.

By involving parents and caregivers in the process of teaching executive functioning skills, educators can create a more comprehensive and effective approach to supporting children’s development.

How to Improve Executive Function Skills

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Special Education Advocate

I'm an IEP/Special Education Advocate who has attended 100s of IEP meetings. I live in Chester County, PA with my husband and two boys, one is disabled. My goal is to make your IEP process easier and help you move your IEP Team to YES. When I'm not here, I'm probably in Harrisburg or DC lobbying for systems change for our kids.