Raising Kind, Strong Kids in an Unkind, Messy World.

As parents, we know we’ll have tough conversations with our kids. I just didn’t think I’d have so many in a single day.

Sometimes it’s because of something they saw on TV. Sometimes it’s something they heard on the bus. And sometimes—ugh—it’s because adults, the ones who are supposed to be leading by example, act like total trainwrecks on a public stage.

We spend so much time teaching our kids not to bully. To be respectful, to be kind, to listen to others. And then—boom—real life shows up with a megaphone and does the opposite.

So what do we do?

We teach. We model. We keep going. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Know your audience.

Different kids need different things. What I say to my younger son isn’t the same thing I say to my teenager. And neither of those conversations is anything like what I say in a text thread with my adult friends (you know who you are).

Some kids are more anxious than others. Some take things very literally. Some just want to know they’re safe. So take a breath. Then speak to your kid in their language.

This feeling won’t last forever.

We talk a lot about “big feelings” in our house. And one of the things I always remind them—and myself—is that feelings are temporary. Just because something feels overwhelming now doesn’t mean it will always feel this way. Life has ups and downs. This is a down. But it won’t be the last word.

Adults cry too. That’s ok.

My kid once saw several adults cry in the same day (day after Hillary lost) and was stunned. I brought it down to his level: “Remember when you cried because you couldn’t wear shorts? This is like that. Grown-ups get disappointed too.” We normalize those feelings. We don’t hide them.

We are resilient.

No, we’re not running away. We don’t quit when things get hard. I told my son, “We are strong. We stand up to bullies. And we stand up for what’s right. That’s who we are.

No effort is wasted.

When things don’t go our way, it’s tempting to feel like all the time and energy we put into something was wasted. It wasn’t. Fighting for what’s right is always worth it—even if we don’t “win.” We lose with dignity. We learn. We regroup.

We are not alone.

One of the most powerful things we can remind ourselves—and our kids—is that good people are out there. A lot of them. In our community, in our schools, online, at the store. It may not always feel like it, but we are not alone.

We are not victims.

Yes, something upsetting happened. Yes, we’re disappointed. But we’re not powerless. We organize. We speak up. We create change. Because we can. And we will.

Kindness still matters.

A bully winning doesn’t mean bullying is ok. It just means we’ve got more work to do. In our house, we still don’t name-call. We don’t belittle. We ask questions, we help others, we stick to our values.

We lead by example.

In this house, we love. We advocate. We speak up. We help. We are kind and inclusive, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. We don’t give up on what we know is right.

We focus on what we can do.

We can’t control everything, but we can control how we respond. We can choose courage. We can choose compassion. And we can choose to teach our kids, every day, how to live with purpose—even when the world around them gets messy.

Because that’s what this is really about.