How to Calm Yourself Down: 8 Strategies That Work for Kids and Adults—Even on the Worst Days

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It’s really no wonder that mental health struggles are at an all-time high. The planet is boiling. The economy’s working for literally no one but billionaires. Schools are stretched so thin, it feels like they’re held together with duct tape and dry erase markers. So, how exactly are we supposed to stay calm—especially when we’re at work, school, or just trying to get through the dang day?

Honestly, I could feel my jaw tightening just typing that out. And we’re all living it—every day. No wonder our kids are anxious. No wonder we’re anxious. But even when life feels out of control, there are things we can do to center ourselves and our kids, especially when emotions are running the show.

Self-calm techniques.
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Know What You’re Feeling (Even If It’s “Everything All At Once”)

Calming yourself down starts with recognizing what you’re feeling and why. If you don’t know what’s triggering you, you can’t really manage it. It’s like trying to put out a fire without knowing where the flames are coming from.

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And no, I’m not saying you should ignore your feelings or bulldoze your kid’s emotions. Quite the opposite.

Emotions are messengers—not enemies. Anxiety before a meeting? That means it’s important to you. Irritability before bedtime? Maybe you’re exhausted, overstimulated, or haven’t had a minute to yourself all day.

Help your child name what they’re feeling too. And let’s not fall into the trap of trying to “snowplow” away every trigger. That’s not sustainable. Teaching coping strategies is.

Breathing Techniques You Can Do Without Making a Scene

Whether you’re in a meeting, in the school pick-up line, or hiding in the pantry (we’ve all been there), you can reset your nervous system without drawing attention to yourself. These work for kids too—printables included.

You can click on any of the above links to get more information or a free printable activity.

Box Breathing

Used by Navy SEALs. If it’s good enough for combat, it’ll work for IEP meetings.

  • Inhale for 4
  • Hold for 4
  • Exhale for 4
  • Hold for 4
    Repeat.

4-7-8 Breathing

Developed by Dr. Andrew Weil. Fancy name, but it’s just:

  • Inhale 4
  • Hold 7
  • Exhale 8
    Repeat. Feels weird at first, but it works.

Mindfulness: Not Just a Buzzword

You don’t need to run off to a silent retreat in the woods. (Though if you do, take me with you.) Here’s what mindfulness looks like in real life.

Meditation

You don’t need to be a guru. Just sit, breathe, and come back to the breath when your brain wanders. That’s the whole practice.

Coloring

Yup, grown-up coloring is a thing. It’s low-pressure, calming, and if you need an excuse to buy new markers—here you go.

👉 Free mindful coloring pages PDF

The “10 Things” Worksheet

Not feeling creative? Doesn’t matter. Just list or draw 10 things—favorite places, foods, sports teams, whatever.

👉 Download the calming worksheet

This simple activity shifts your thoughts away from anxiety and gives your brain a breather.

Physical Movement = Mental Reset

If your brain won’t shut up, get your body moving. No, you don’t need a gym membership.

  • Take a walk (bonus if it’s outside)
  • Stretch
  • Dance it out in the kitchen
  • Do a yoga video from YouTube while your kid watches Bluey

Even 5–10 minutes of movement can lower cortisol (aka your stress hormone) and bring you back to baseline.

Don’t Forget the Basics: Food + Sleep

Yes, it’s boring advice. But hear me out.

  • Blood sugar crashes = mood crashes. Keep snacks handy.
  • Too much caffeine = wired and tired. You know your limits.
  • No sleep = no sanity. Prioritize it when you can, and if your child isn’t sleeping, read my sleep resources.

(Also: when you feel like snapping and think it’s anxiety—it might just be dehydration. Seriously.)

When You Need More Than Deep Breaths

If your anxiety feels like a freight train, breathing techniques and yoga might not cut it. That’s okay. Therapists, counselors, and even texting a crisis line can help. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through life. Neither do your kids.

Calm Isn’t a Mood, It’s a Skill

We can’t always change what’s happening in the world. But we can learn tools to calm ourselves and help our kids do the same. It doesn’t make the chaos go away—but it gives us a way to respond instead of just react.

Pick one thing. Try it. Repeat.

And if you need a printable? I got you.

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