How to Calm Down: Easy Techniques That Can Be Done Anywhere.
It’s really no wonder that mental health struggles are at an all-time high. The planet is boiling. The economy’s working for literally no one but billionaires. Schools are stretched so thin, it feels like they’re held together with duct tape and dry erase markers. So, how exactly are we supposed to stay calm, especially when we’re at work, school, or just trying to get through the dang day?
Honestly, I could feel my jaw tightening just typing that out. And we’re all living it every day. No wonder our kids are anxious. No wonder we’re anxious. But even when life feels out of control, there are things we can do to center ourselves and our kids, especially when emotions are running the show.
Calming yourself down starts with recognizing what you’re feeling and why. If you don’t know what’s triggering you, you can’t really manage it. It’s like trying to put out a fire without knowing where the flames are coming from.
And no, I’m not saying you should ignore your feelings or bulldoze your kid’s emotions. Quite the opposite.
- Mindfulness Activities for Kids, Students, and Teens
- Mindfulness for Kids: Does It Really Work?
- 250 Free PDF Coloring Pages for Teens + Adults (advanced, intricate designs)
Emotions are messengers, not enemies. Anxiety before a meeting? That means it’s important to you. Irritability before bedtime? Maybe you’re exhausted, overstimulated, or haven’t had a minute to yourself all day.
Help your child name what they’re feeling too. And let’s not fall into the trap of trying to “snowplow” away every trigger. That’s not sustainable. Teaching coping strategies is.
Breathing Techniques to Calm Down
Whether you’re in a meeting, in the school pick-up line, or hiding in the pantry (we’ve all been there), you can reset your nervous system without drawing attention to yourself. These work for kids too, printables included.
You can click on any of the above links to get more information or a free printable activity.
- Box Breathing: Used by Navy SEALs. If it’s good enough for combat, it’ll work for IEP meetings. All you do is: Inhale while you count to four, hold while you count to four, exhale while you count to four. And….repeat.
- 4-7-8 Breathing: Developed by Dr. Andrew Weil. Similar as the box breathing, but it’s inhale for four, hold for seven, exhale for eight.
How to Calm Your Mind
I get it–spirally is easy….and it often seems like it can be uncontrollable. It’s not. Calming your mind when you start to spiral is a skill, and self awareness is the first step.
When you find yourself having bad thoughts, even if it’s a small one, don’t ignore it. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s not. Trying to just “shut it off” usually doesn’t work. If it did, we all wouldn’t be here, reading this article.
Notice it. Name it. “Uh oh, it feels like I’m starting to head down a negative path with my thinking. I don’t like doing this and it’s not healthy for me. I am going to choose to look at this for a few seconds, then move on to something else.”
Then, move on to that something else. It can be any number of things.
- Silly or entertaining TV (no news or Dateline type shows, stuff that is negative). Keep it to silly sitcoms, comedies, sports, something that uplifts you.
- Turn on some music to a station where you know you’ll know all the words. Sing along.
- Throw on your shoes and go walk, by yourself, a dog, whatever.
- Planet Fitness is only $15 a month. Join one. Then discipline yourself to go to the gym when you start to have negative thoughts.
- Read a book. Much like the tv example, pick something silly and light–not serious and scary.
- Writing or coloring. Putting your hand and pen/crayon/marker to paper, intentionally, can be very helpful.
- Listen to an uplifting podcast.
- Clean something. Find a cabinet, a drawer, a bookshelf–something small that can be accomplished in a few minutes and won’t take all day.
- Play a video game. Go old school and play solitaire or Tetris. Nothing violent or apocolypse-like.
- If you have family or roommates and you’re not home alone, play a board game.
- Get a cheap puzzle table, or designate a space where you can keep a jigsaw puzzle out to work on. Get your mind working on something else.
- Lastly, if you’re not home, and you don’t have any of these things available to you–take 5. Name 5 things you see, 5 things you hear, 5 things you smell, and 5 things you can touch. Keep doing that over, without renaming the same things, until the pattern stops.
Mindfulness Techniques to Calm Down
You don’t need to run off to a silent retreat in the woods. (Though if you do, take me with you.) Here’s what mindfulness looks like in real life.
- Meditation: You don’t need to be a guru. Just sit, breathe, and come back to the breath when your brain wanders. That’s the whole practice.
- Coloring: Yup, grown-up coloring is a thing. It’s low-pressure, calming, and if you need an excuse to buy new markers, here you go. Free mindful coloring pages PDF
- The “10 Things” Worksheet: Not feeling creative? Doesn’t matter. Just list or draw 10 things—favorite places, foods, sports teams, whatever. Download the calming worksheet
- Phone or text a friend. Human connection helps decrease anxiety, so revitalize friendships that have fallen by the wayside.
This simple activity shifts your thoughts away from anxiety and gives your brain a breather.
Physical Movement Helps to Calm Down
If your brain won’t shut up, get your body moving. No, you don’t need a gym membership (but Planet Fitness is only $15, can’t beat it!)
- Take a walk (bonus if it’s outside)
- Stretch
- Dance it out in the kitchen
- Do a yoga video from YouTube
Even 5–10 minutes of movement can lower cortisol (aka your stress hormone) and bring you back to baseline.
Running Intervals for Anxiety
There is new emerging research that says that interval training is helpful for people with anxiety and panic attacks. I have been trying this myself, but have only done it 3-4 times.
The theory behind this is that if you can train your body and your heart rate to increase and decrease, it decreases overall anxiety–especially racing heart rates during panic attacks.
Look, I used to be a runner but have not run in 20 years. But this is what I do, on the treadmill at Planet Fitness:
- Warmup for 5-6 minutes, walking at 3-4 miles per hour.
- My running interval is 30-60 seconds at 5.6 yo 6 miles per hour.
- Then, another 3-5 minutes walking at 3-4 miles an hour.
- I do that for a total of 4-6 running intervals.
- How long or how fast I go depends on how I’m feeling that day.
Mind you, I am a middle aged woman who has not seriously exercised in a long time. See your doctor before starting any fitness program. But I figure I owe it to myself and my family to try and improve myself.
Yes, Food + Sleep affect Calming Down
Yes, it’s boring advice. But hear me out.
- Blood sugar crashes = mood crashes. Keep snacks handy.
- Too much caffeine = wired and tired. You know your limits.
- No sleep = no sanity. Prioritize it when you can, and if your child isn’t sleeping, read my sleep resources.
There are also certain foods that are known to help with anxiety and those that increase it.
Foods That May Help with Anxiety
- chamomile or other herbal teas (lavender)
- whole foods and grains–nuts, vegetables, superfoods
- lots of water
Foods That May Make Anxiety Worse
- Alcohol: It is known that alcohol makes anxiety disorders worse. And, half of all female alcoholics have some type of anxiety disorder. (source: Elizabeth Vargas book)
- Highly processed foods, fake foods, dyes, etc.
- Caffeine (use in moderation, and only in the mornings)
- Tobacco products (not a food, but you know what I mean)
(Also: when you feel like snapping and think it’s anxiety, it might just be dehydration. Seriously.)
How to Calm Your Nerves
If your anxiety feels like a freight train, breathing techniques and yoga might not cut it. Maybe you looked at all of the calming ideas above, and said, “Yeah, been there, done that….and it didn’t help.”
That’s okay. Therapists, counselors, and even texting a crisis line can help. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through life. Neither do your kids.
None of the ideas above should be construed as a substitute for mental health care.
Calm Isn’t a Mood, It’s a Skill
We can’t always change what’s happening in the world. But we can learn tools to calm ourselves and help our kids do the same. It doesn’t always make the chaos go away, but it gives us a way to respond instead of just react.
Pick one thing. Try it. Repeat. And if you need a printable? I got you.