Suspended Again? What Every Parent of an IEP Child Needs to Know About School Discipline.

It happened. Again.

You’re at work, in the middle of a meeting or juggling a deadline, and your phone rings. That number flashes on the screen—and your heart sinks. It’s the school. You already know what’s coming next: your child has been suspended. Again. You need to leave work. Again. And you’re left scrambling—emotionally, logistically, and legally.

School suspensions are not just frustrating—they can also have long-term consequences for your child’s education, behavior, and even mental health. If this is happening often, it’s time to dig deeper.

This post offers an overview of school suspensions, your child’s rights, and some important next steps. If you need guidance tailored to your specific situation, please consult a special education advocate or education attorney.

The School-to-Prison Pipeline Starts Here

Out-of-school suspensions are often the first step in what’s known as the school-to-prison pipeline—a disturbing pattern where disciplinary practices push students, particularly marginalized and disabled students, out of the classroom and toward the criminal justice system.

Here’s how it often unfolds:
A child gets suspended a few times. Their behavior may escalate, especially if the root causes—like unmet academic or behavioral needs—aren’t being addressed. Eventually, schools may call in law enforcement, particularly in districts that have School Resource Officers (SROs) embedded on campus. From there, what should be an education issue becomes a legal one.

Suspensions also mean missed instructional time. For students already struggling academically or emotionally, this just widens the gap. If your child already feels frustrated, unsupported, or disconnected from school, being sent home might even feel like a reward—reinforcing the behavior rather than correcting it.

And here’s a critical point:
There is no research supporting the effectiveness of out-of-school suspensions as a behavioral intervention. They are punitive, not educational. According to the U.S. Department of Education and numerous advocacy groups, suspensions do not improve student behavior, academic outcomes, or school safety.

Instead, they isolate.
Suspending a child—especially one with a disability—is essentially a form of seclusion or shunning. It removes the child from the very setting where they should be learning skills to succeed. And unfortunately, the damage doesn’t stop there. Repeated suspensions can saddle students with a harmful label—one that follows them throughout their education.

This is especially concerning for students with disabilities, who are suspended at disproportionately higher rates than their non-disabled peers. Fortunately, this issue is finally gaining attention from the media, policymakers, and disability advocates. But awareness isn’t enough—you need to know your rights and your next steps.

School Suspensions are a Systemic Problem

US Dept of Ed statistics tell us that approximately 15-20% of all kids have special needs or an IEP. We know that out of all students that are suspended from school, kids with IEPs have a disproportionately high rate. The average is about 30%. But in some districts (and if you’re a minority) it can be as high as 75%. So, let’s see. They make up 15% of the population, but 75% of suspensions? Doesn’t seem right, does it? No, it’s not.

Even if it is not called a suspension, or you didn’t receive paperwork. If you were called to come get your child, that is considered a suspension in the eyes of the law. If your child was “invited” to go home that day and miss school time, he was suspended! So please make sure for documentation purposes, that you are documenting those incidents as well.

This is a huge systemic problem. I’m not telling you that to depress you, but to let you know that you are not alone. And also as a reminder that you have to be persistent in fixing this for your child. Because suspensions, for kids as young as kindergarten, is becoming the acceptable status quo.

IDEA, Discipline, and What You Need to Know

First things first: read your Procedural Safeguards—the rights booklet you received when your child was evaluated or began special education services. Yes, it’s long and not exactly beach reading, but it outlines crucial protections you’ll need to understand if your child is facing school discipline.

Let’s break this down:

If Your Child Is Being Suspended and Does Not Have an IEP or 504 Plan

If your child has been suspended from school—or is frequently getting in trouble—and they don’t currently receive special education services, this could be a red flag.

There may be a Child Find issue.

Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), schools have an obligation to identify, locate, and evaluate children who may need special education. This is known as the Child Find mandate. If your child is struggling behaviorally or academically and the school hasn’t evaluated them, despite red flags, they may be in violation of this legal requirement.

Suspensions shouldn’t be the school’s first move. If your child is acting out, there may be an underlying disability—such as ADHD, autism, anxiety, or a learning disability—that hasn’t been identified yet. Repeated suspensions can’t be the school’s only response if your child needs support.

If you suspect a disability and the school hasn’t taken action, put your concerns in writing and request a full evaluation under IDEA or Section 504. And don’t wait—disciplinary records can accumulate quickly, and the longer this goes on, the harder it can be to reverse the narrative around your child.

If Your Child Does Have an IEP or 504 Plan

Let’s be honest—kids with disabilities sometimes exhibit behaviors that are disruptive, unexpected, or even unsafe. That’s part of why they qualify for support in the first place. But too often, schools respond to those behaviors with punishment instead of support.

Here’s the thing:
Our kids aren’t “getting away with it.” They’re struggling. They’re communicating something—stress, frustration, lack of skills. And parents aren’t asking for excuses—we’re asking for help. We want our kids to succeed, not be repeatedly sent home because they don’t yet have the tools to meet expectations.

The old-school “make better choices” response? It’s outdated and unfair. If a child hasn’t been taught the skills or doesn’t yet have the emotional regulation to make those choices, it’s like asking a kid to read without teaching them the alphabet.

What To Do Immediately

If your child with an IEP or 504 plan has been suspended, take these steps:

1. Start a paper trail: Keep a log of every suspension—dates, duration, what the school said happened, and what actions they took. Don’t rely on memory or verbal explanations.
2. Request all documentation: Ask the school for copies of all incident reports, discipline referrals, emails, and written communication about each event. You have a right to this information.
3. Review your district’s discipline policy: Most districts post this on their website. Print it out and highlight relevant sections that apply to students with disabilities.
4. Dust off those Procedural Safeguards: Yes, again. IDEA provides protections around discipline—but you need to know what they are to use them effectively.

One of These is Likely the Problem

If your child with an IEP or 504 is being suspended, one of the following is likely true:

• They need a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) and don’t have one.
• They have a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP), but it’s not appropriate for their needs.
• The BIP exists, but it’s not being followed.

Your next step is to figure out which category applies—and then push for a solution.

Request an IEP meeting in writing and include your concerns. If the behavior plan isn’t working, it needs to be revised. If no plan exists, the team must conduct an FBA and use that data to create one. If the school is ignoring the plan, that’s a compliance issue—and it needs to be addressed immediately.

Can a Child with an IEP Be Suspended?

Short answer: yes.
Students with IEPs can be suspended. But there are important legal protections in place—and once certain thresholds are met, the school must follow specific procedures under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

How Many Days Can a Child with an IEP Be Suspended?

Under IDEA, if a student with a disability is suspended for more than 10 school days in a school year—either consecutively or cumulatively in a way that forms a pattern—a Manifestation Determination Review (MDR) must be held.

This meeting is where the IEP team comes together to decide whether the child’s behavior:

1. Was caused by, or had a direct and substantial relationship to, the child’s disability, or
2. Was the direct result of the school’s failure to implement the IEP.

If the answer to either of those questions is yes, the behavior is considered a manifestation of the disability—and the school cannot proceed with a disciplinary removal in the same way they would for a non-disabled peer.

Important exception: Some states have even stricter protections. For example, in Pennsylvania, if your child has an intellectual disability, a Manifestation Determination must be conducted after just one day of suspension. Know your state’s regulations, as they may offer stronger protections than the federal baseline.

Why These Meetings Can Be Challenging

The Manifestation Determination Review often involves debate. There’s a section on the form where the team must decide whether the IEP was appropriate and implemented as written. And here’s where it gets tricky: schools are often reluctant to check “no,” even when the evidence suggests otherwise—because doing so may be seen as admitting fault.

Unfortunately, this means parents are frequently left feeling outnumbered and unheard.

That’s why I always recommend: don’t go to the meeting alone.
If you can’t bring an advocate, bring someone—a trusted friend, family member, or neighbor—just someone who can take notes, help you stay focused, and act as a witness. Even having one other person in the room can help you feel more grounded and supported.

Yes, Even 5-Year-Olds Get Suspended

It sounds unbelievable, but it’s all too real. I recently took a call from a mom whose kindergartener had been suspended for two days. Yes—five years old. And this was in one of the so-called “best” school districts in the state.

After we talked, it became clear that the behavior was predictable. Triggers were known. Supports were supposedly in place. But they weren’t being followed—his Positive Behavior Support Plan (PBSP) was gathering dust, and the adults responsible for supporting him weren’t doing their part. Instead of prevention, the school went straight to punishment.

Sadly, this isn’t rare.

I’ve worked with families whose children were suspended repeatedly—sometimes double-digit days—without ever having a Manifestation Determination Review. Why? Because administrators either didn’t know the law or chose not to follow it. And the parents didn’t know to ask.

This is why advocacy matters.

What Should Happen Next?

If your child has had a Manifestation Determination, and the behavior was found to be related to their disability, an IEP meeting must follow. The team should meet to revise the IEP in light of what happened. This might include:

• Adding new or increased supports
• Scheduling or updating a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA)
• Creating or modifying a Positive Behavior Support Plan (PBSP)

Once those pieces are in place, it’s crucial that you monitor implementation. Are the strategies actually being used? Is staff trained? Is your child receiving what’s written in the plan?

And if you suspect your child is being disciplined more harshly than their non-disabled peers—or being removed from class disproportionately—you may also consider filing a complaint with the Office for Civil Rights (OCR). Discrimination based on disability is a violation of Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act.

And No—It’s Not Just Your Imagination

If it feels like your child is being singled out or treated unfairly… you’re probably right.

The discomfort you’re feeling isn’t paranoia—it’s experience. Far too often, children with IEPs are disciplined more harshly, more frequently, and with fewer second chances than their non-disabled peers. And yes, that disparity is real. It’s part of what feeds the very real, very harmful school-to-prison pipeline.

This is one of the many reasons I’m so passionate about helping parents—and school personnel—understand the right way to support our kids when behaviors arise. Because what’s often passed off as “just discipline” can snowball into something that derails a child’s entire future.

I’ll be honest—writing about this kind of thing can be exhausting. It’s disheartening. But I believe deeply that knowledge is power. And once you’ve stabilized your own situation, I urge you to turn that knowledge outward.

Start organizing.
Connect with other parents in your district.
Read up on Restorative Justice practices—real alternatives to punishment that focus on relationship repair, skill-building, and accountability. Then push your school or district to implement them. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen when we show up, informed and united.

Because your child—and all of ours—deserve better than a system that gives up on them.

Manifestation Determination Hearings

If your child has been suspended multiple times—or you’ve been notified that a Manifestation Determination Hearing (MDH) is scheduled—this is a pivotal moment.

A Manifestation Hearing isn’t a punishment and it’s not a “get out of jail free” card. It’s a legal safeguard that ensures your child’s behavior is understood in context—and that the school is doing its job to provide appropriate supports.

The purpose of the hearing is to figure out:

• Was the behavior caused by (or directly related to) the child’s disability?
• Was the behavior the result of the school’s failure to implement the IEP?

Either of these answers being “yes” changes the school’s disciplinary options. But more importantly, the outcome should lead to more support for your child—not more punishment.

Preventing Suspensions Before They Happen

While we can’t control every situation, there are steps you can take within the IEP process to reduce the chances of suspension. Preventative strategies might include:

• Proactive behavior supports and goals
• A well-designed FBA and PBSP
• Staff training and accountability language in the IEP
• Built-in sensory breaks, counseling services, or de-escalation supports

Accountability Still Matters

Let’s be clear: disability is never an excuse for harming others or ignoring boundaries.

But teaching accountability to a child with a disability often requires more support—not more punishment. We want to help them understand consequences, develop self-regulation skills, and build positive coping strategies.

It’s not about letting kids off the hook. It’s about meeting them where they are and helping them grow. Our kids deserve both compassion and expectations.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

This is a lot. And I know it’s overwhelming. You just want your child to feel safe, supported, and able to go to school like everyone else.

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure, reach out for help. Contact your state’s Parent Training and Information Center (PTI), disability rights group, or a local Special Education Advocate. Many advocates work on a sliding scale or offer pro bono services—and they can help you get back on steady ground.

And one last reminder: Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Keep asking questions. Keep pushing for answers. Your child deserves better—and you’re their best line of defense.