40 Conversation Starters for Kids Who Struggle with Social Skills

Hey there! Ever notice how having a conversation feels like a natural, easy flow for some kids and an impossible task for others? Well, that’s because conversation skills are actually something most people pick up naturally, but for many students with IEPs, it’s not that simple.

These skills are not innate; they’re taught. For our kids, social skills like conversation can be as foreign as learning a new language—one filled with unwritten rules and social cues that don’t always make sense.

• Save

So, what do we do? We teach these kids directly, just like we’d teach math or reading. Think of it as an “allistic” social skill—one that comes naturally to neurotypical kids but needs explicit instruction for our neurodivergent kiddos.

Today, we’re going to dive into some practical conversation starters that you can use to help your child engage, connect, and maybe even find a friend or two. Let’s get into it!

Read: 77 IEP Goals for Social Skills

Conversation Starters for Younger Kids (Elementary)

When working with younger students, it’s all about simplicity and fun. They’re still figuring out the world, so questions that spark curiosity or let them share what they love are the way to go. Here are 20 conversation starters that will get the ball rolling:

1. What’s your favorite game to play at recess?
2. If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why?
3. What’s the best snack ever?
4. Do you have a favorite superhero? Who is it?
5. If you had a pet dragon, what would you name it?
6. What’s your favorite color and why?
7. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
8. What do you like more: playing outside or playing video games?
9. Who is your favorite character in a book or TV show?
10. What would you do if you found a treasure chest?
11. What’s something you’re really good at?
12. Do you have a favorite song? Can you sing it?
13. If you could fly, where would you go first?
14. What’s your favorite thing to do on weekends?
15. Would you rather be really fast or really strong? Why?
16. What’s your favorite kind of weather?
17. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
18. Who makes you laugh the most?
19. Do you have a best friend? What do you like to do together?
20. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever built?

Conversation Starters for Older Kids (Middle and High School)

Teens can be tricky. They’re navigating a lot—social circles, identity, and everything in between. These prompts aim to dig a little deeper, encouraging them to share thoughts, opinions, and experiences in a way that feels relevant and safe.

1. What’s a song that you could listen to on repeat?
2. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
3. What’s something you’re really passionate about right now?
4. Do you have a favorite app or game? Why do you like it?
5. If you could trade places with anyone for a day, who would it be and why?
6. What’s something you wish adults understood about teens?
7. If you could have dinner with any celebrity, who would it be?
8. What’s the best movie you’ve seen recently?
9. What do you do when you feel stressed out?
10. What’s a skill you wish you could learn overnight?
11. Who’s your biggest role model?
12. What’s something you’re proud of that most people don’t know about you?
13. If you could start a business, what would it be?
14. What’s your favorite thing to do when you hang out with friends?
15. What’s a recent challenge you’ve faced and how did you handle it?
16. If you could instantly become an expert in anything, what would it be?
17. Do you think social media is more helpful or harmful? Why?
18. What’s something that makes you feel confident?
19. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
20. What’s your dream job?

Printable List of Conversation Starters

Here are those lists again–conversation starters for younger students and one for older students.

Why These Starters Matter

Conversation skills are so much more than just words exchanged—they’re the foundation of friendships, self-expression, and navigating the world. For many kids, especially those with social skills deficits, these skills aren’t instinctive.

The magic happens when we guide them, offer the right prompts, and encourage them to keep going, even if it feels awkward or forced at first.

Using conversation starters is just one small piece of the puzzle, but it’s a powerful tool that can open doors for our kids.

Remember, progress might look like a small step forward today and two steps back tomorrow, but every bit counts. Keep prompting, keep encouraging, and watch those connections grow!