School Refusal: This is What Teachers Wish They Could Do for Your Child.

I recently surveyed my email list about school refusal. While much of that survey was just a checkbox to click, there were a few long form answers. They were optional, so thank you to all who participated.

I found trends in their answers and thought I would share their ideas. Teachers are some of the most resourceful people I have ever met.

The exact question was: What supports would you provide if resources were unlimited? What supports are currently NOT available but needed?

Attendance and Access Supports

1. Attendance officers or truancy officers
2. Consistent attendance meetings and proactive plans (not just letters)
3. Daily check-ins or calls when students are absent
4. Wake-up calls or morning support for families
5. Transportation support (buses, shuttles, home pick-up options)
6. Midday transportation for late arrivals
7. Flexible attendance options (part-day, gradual return)
8. Hybrid or virtual learning options
9. Homebound or home health education (including for mental health)

Mental Health and Counseling

1. More school counselors (significantly reduced caseloads)
2. Mental health services for both students and families
3. On-site therapists, behavior specialists, and psychologists
4. Counseling check-ins at the start of each day
5. Crisis support for panic attacks and anxiety
6. In-home therapy options
7. Regulation spaces or calm-down areas
8. Ongoing emotional regulation instruction
9. Counseling that supports attendance, not replaces it

Family and Parent Support

1. Parent education on school refusal and underlying causes
2. Training on routines, expectations, and communication
3. Help navigating behavior at home (sleep, devices, refusal)
4. Stronger school-family partnerships
5. Home visits to build relationships and trust
6. Social workers to connect families with resources
7. Parent-child learning opportunities or workshops
8. Clear guidance on long-term impacts of chronic absence

Early Identification and Prevention

1. Early screening (starting in PreK/Kindergarten)
2. Systems to identify at-risk students sooner
3. Interventions before refusal becomes chronic
4. More proactive supports at the elementary level
5. Clear definition and understanding of “school refusal”
6. Staff training on early warning signs

School-Based Supports for Students

1. Safe, slow start to the school day
2. Designated safe person or trusted adult
3. One-on-one support staff when needed
4. Ability to change staff match if rapport isn’t working
5. Gradual exposure plans (start small, build up)
6. Flexible schedules tailored to student needs
7. Quiet/sensory spaces available anytime
8. Access to comfort items or parent contact if needed
9. Re-entry programs after long absences or hospitalization

Academic and Instructional Supports

1. Smaller class sizes
2. More individualized instruction
3. Pull-out or one-on-one learning time
4. Resource classes and alternative pathways
5. Career pathways beyond traditional academics
6. More engaging, relevant curriculum
7. Interest-based learning opportunities
8. Better alignment between general ed and special ed
9. Stronger foundational instruction (reading, math basics)

Staffing and School Resources

1. More staff across all roles (teachers, aides, counselors)
2. More paraprofessionals for consistent support
3. Behavior analysts, OT, PT, SLPs on-site
4. Special education administrators with real expertise
5. Instructional coaches and SPED support staff
6. Substitute coverage to reduce strain on families and staff
7. Time for collaboration, planning, and meetings
8. Reduced caseloads for special education staff

Behavior and Emotional Support Approaches

1. Viewing behavior as communication, not just compliance
2. Moving away from reward/punishment-only systems
3. Consistent behavior support plans
4. School-based behavioral programs for refusal
5. Access to ABA or other therapeutic supports in school
6. Training for staff on anxiety, avoidance, and neurodiversity

School Environment and Engagement

1. Safer school environments (address bullying)
2. More engaging school experiences
3. Incentives for attendance (not just perfect attendance)
4. Better food and basic needs support (meals, supplies)
5. Reduced device use, more hands-on learning
6. Opportunities for students to pursue interests
7. More meaningful and relevant instruction

Systems, Policy and Accountability

1. Better attendance tracking and early warning systems
2. Clear procedures and protocols for school refusal
3. Accountability systems for attendance (balanced and appropriate)
4. More consistent implementation across schools
5. District-level audits and oversight
6. Policies that allow support through IEPs/504s without penalty
7. Community-based programs targeting school refusal

Community and Wraparound Services

1. Partnerships with community mental health providers
2. Community-based intervention programs
3. Student support advocates who work with families at home
4. Access to healthcare and social services
5. Programs that support students outside of school hours

Logistics and Practical Supports

1. Free meals and school supplies
2. Before/after school care options
3. Help for families with transportation or work conflicts
4. Support for students who miss work (make-up systems)
5. Better communication systems between school and home

When you look at this list, one thing becomes clear, this isn’t about parents “not trying hard enough” or schools “not caring.” It’s about systems that are stretched too thin to meet very real needs. Teachers already know what would help.

They’re telling us they need time, staff, flexibility, and mental health support to actually address school refusal in a meaningful way. Until those gaps are addressed, parents are left trying to patch together solutions on their own. But this list gives you something important: direction. Because even if schools can’t offer all of this, you can start asking for pieces of it, and that’s often where real change begins.