The Hidden Truth About Your Child’s IEP: Why You Might Be the Only One Keeping Track of Success.

This is a concept that I really need parents to grab on to and internalize. I hope that this brings you that “a-ha!” moment in IEPs. Because I get the feeling that many parents do not fully grasp the enormous responsibility of parent participation in the IEP process. Because parents are the only ones policing the system. Yes, that’s right.

I need every parent reading this to really let this sink in: you are the IEP police. No, this isn’t some honorary title. It’s an actual job, a responsibility that no one else is going to take on if you don’t.

Here’s the reality—there’s no built-in system ensuring your child’s IEP is truly effective. No one is automatically checking if the progress monitoring data is meaningful or if the goals are thoughtfully updated each year. If something isn’t working, it often goes unnoticed unless a parent steps in to ask questions and advocate for change.

And I know that might feel overwhelming, but trust me when I say that once you see it—once you understand how broken the system really is—you can start taking back control.

Understanding Public Education

I love public education. I truly do, and spend a great deal of time lobbying and advocating for improving public education and special education. That does not mean that I do not recognize the flaws in public education.

By design, the very concept of public education is in conflict with the concept of IEPs. The foundation of our public school system was a system designed to educate kids en masse. En masse is not the I in IEP, is it?

So right out of the gate, it’s like IDEA was doomed to fail. Because this federal law was dropped on the states and is seemingly in direct opposition to what public schools had been doing for over 100 years. Sure, as time progresses and society changes, so do philosophies. But progress is slow. I think it’s important to view those conflicting concepts in perspective.

It’s also important to note that in our public school system today, the goal is to prepare the child for “next.” “Next” usually means the next reading level, math level, grade or school building. This is not a diss of teachers or public schools, it’s just how it is. Over the years, my non-disabled child often comes home and says, “well our teacher said that next year, we’re going to have to know/do…..”

Preparing for next is very different from preparing for forever. They hope that the students will retain the skills and knowledge they were taught to be successful at the next level.

Black Hole or Cliff of Age 21

However, when you are the parent of a disabled child, we don’t just look at next. We’re looking at forever. At some point in your child’s educational career, you will become aware that when your child leaves the public education system at age 18 or 21, that the supports and services out there for them as an adult are very limited.

So, we are forced to not just look at what’s next, but we have to focus on “what is this going to look like the day he walks out of here for good?”

Which brings me to IEPs. For the most part, parents are the only ones with our eyes on age 18 or 21. (Yes, there are good teachers out there who do this too, I know you exist, I wish there were more of you.) Your IEP team likely changes from year to year. Kids get different teachers, different therapists, and everyone has caseloads that are too big. So things fall through the cracks.

This brings me to my point…..

Who is policing IDEA/IEPs?

Short answer: no one but you.

Yes, states have compliance monitors (I am one!). But let me tell you what we actually check:

Did they complete evaluations within 60 days?
Did they send you a copy of your procedural safeguards?
Is the paperwork in order?

That’s it. No one is checking if your child is actually making progress. No one is going through IEPs to see if they’re high quality. There is no built-in quality control.

And that means if you aren’t watching, no one is. If you don’t file a complaint or request changes, everyone assumes the IEP is fine.

• If your child’s progress monitoring data is vague, meaningless, or just wrong?
• If your child hasn’t progressed in years but the same goals keep getting recycled?
• If your child is struggling but the school isn’t adjusting their support?

It does not matter unless YOU say something.

Who Is Policing IEPs?

No one. No, seriously. No one monitors your IEP for quality of programming, efficacy, outcomes, etc. States have compliance monitors. I am a state compliance monitor. All we check for is administrative timelines–did they get the IEP evaluations done in 60 days, did you sign a form that you received IEP procedural safeguards and so on.

We do not look at outcomes. A compliance monitor is not asked to judge whether or not that child’s IEP is appropriate. You, parents, you are the police. IDEA is a complaint based statute with its own Due Process procedures. If you do not complain (file for Due Process) it is assumed that your IEP is satisfactory. If your child has a garbage IEP that has the same goals year after year….no one will even notice if you don’t challenge it.

If your IEP progress monitoring data is junk, makes no sense, not objective or measured against baselines….no one will care if you don’t challenge it. If your child doesn’t make meaningful progress toward their goals, and the IEP team does nothing to change it…doesn’t matter, if you don’t do anything about it. Again, I cannot stress this enough–if you don’t say or do anything, it is assumed that things are fine.

No QA System in Place

I have never seen nor heard of a district having a QA system in place. No one asking “Are we doing what we need to be doing for these kids?” There are no committees checking up on this. The government doesn’t have a system set up either.

Sure, some state agencies collect data. But it’s usually on a building or district basis, not individual. And, I have yet to see any of that data used for any meaningful change. We have plenty of data to show us all the areas where our schools suck. For example, for decades, the unemployment rate for adults with autism or IDD is around 80%. We know this. Nothing changes. The data collected on disabled people only gets used in political arguments and not much else.

No one comes in behind you, reads through a district’s IEPs to find out if they are ‘good.’ No one. Each IEP pretty much exists in a silo. No one is lining them all up, comparing them, monitoring progress not just toward IEP goals, but from year to year to year. But you’ve got to figure out some kind of system to meaningfully engage in the IEP process all year long and track progress consistently.

It’s all on us.

What This Means for You as an IEP Parent

So, what do you do with this information? You need a system.

You can’t just “speak up” at meetings. That’s not enough. You need:

A paper trail. Schools respond to documentation, not feelings. Keep copies of every email, request, and progress report.
A clear understanding of progress. Learn how to read and interpret the data (or demand better data). If the school says your child is progressing, make them prove it.
A long-term plan. Your child’s education isn’t just about this school year—it’s about their future. Make sure their IEP reflects that.

I know it’s frustrating. It’s exhausting. And it feels like an unfair burden to put on parents. But the alternative? A failing system that will continue to fail your child unless you step in.

So, yes, you are the IEP police. And while that might not feel fair, it’s reality. And the sooner you take on that role, the better the outcomes will be for your child.

Need help figuring out how to track progress and hold the school accountable? Check out the new mini course: How to Know if Your Child’s IEP is Working

Learn more about the course here.