Dear IEP Team: Don’t Call Me Mom

Why I don’t want you calling me “Mom.”

1. It’s awkward. Mom is my job title, depending on the setting. Do you refer to the other IEP meeting participants as “teacher” or “LEA” or “principal?” Probably not. Because it’s awkward. “So, Occupational therapist, about this sensory goal…”

Why I don’t want you calling me “Mom.”

2. Personally, I think it’s condescending. In like a babyish, patronizing or misogynistic kind of way. Mom can be an innocent word and it can be a loaded word–implying that you’re “just a mom.” Each situation is different of course but it can be an example of misogyny at an IEP meeting. It makes the playing field uneven, in my opinion. And parents are an equal member of the IEP team.

Why I don’t want you calling me “Mom.”

3. 1. It’s too familiar. I’ve said it a zillion times. To me, an IEP meeting is a business meeting. I am in the business of having my child’s needs met. At business meetings, people don’t call each other Mom and Dad. Except VP Pence, but he’s just weird.

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